Amusing English # 11 - Leave letters

 Some amusing leave letters....

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 An employee in a software company applied for leave as follows:
"Since I have to go to my village to sell my land along with my wife, please sanction me one-week leave."

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From an employee who was performing the "mundan" ceremony of his 10 year old son.
"as I want to shave my son's head, please leave me for two days.."

---

Another one from an employee who was performing his daughter's wedding:
"as I am marrying my daughter, please grant a week's leave.."

---

From H.A.L. Administration Dept:
"As my mother-in-law has expired and I am only one responsible for it, please grant me 10 days leave."

---

 Another employee applied for half day leave as follows:
"Since I've to go to the cremation ground at 10 o-clock and I may not return, please grant me half day casual leave"

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An incident of a leave letter
"I am suffering from fever, please declare one-day holiday."

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A leave letter to the headmaster
"As I am studying in this school I am suffering from headache. I request you to leave me today"

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Another leave letter written to the headmaster:
"As my headache is paining, please grant me leave for the day."

---

 Another leave letter application

 "My wife is suffering from sickness and as I am her only husband at home I may be granted leave".

---

:-)

Cheers!

 

   

Amusing English # 10 - Letter to God

Little Leroy came into the kitchen where his mother was making dinner. His birthday was coming up and he thought this was a good time to tell his mother what he wanted.

"Mom, I want a bike for my birthday." Little Leroy was a bit of a troublemaker. He had gotten into trouble at school and at home. Leroy's mother asked him if he thought he deserved to get a bike for his birthday. Little Leroy, of course, thought he did.

Leroy's mother, being a Christian woman, wanted him to reflect on his behavior over the last year and write a letter to God and tell him why he deserved a bike for his birthday.

LETTER 1:
Dear God,
I have been a very good boy this year and I would like a bike for my birthday. I want a red one.
Your friend, Leroy

Leroy knew this wasn't true. He had not been a very good boy this year, so he tore up the letter and started over.

LETTER 2:
Dear God,
This is your friend Leroy. I have been a pretty good boy this year, and I would like a red bike for my birthday.
Thank you,
Leroy

Leroy knew this wasn't true either. He tore up the letter and started again.

LETTER 3:
Dear God,
I have been an OK boy this year and I would really like a red bike for my birthday.
Leroy

Leroy knew he could not send this letter to God either .

Leroy was very upset.He went downstairs and told his mother he wanted to go church. Leroy's mother thought her plan had worked because Leroy looked very sad. "Just be home in time for dinner," his mother said.

Leroy walked down the street to the church and up to the altar. He looked around to see if anyone was there. He picked up a statue of the Virgin Mary. He slipped it under his shirt and ran out of the church, down the street, into his house, and up to his room. He shut the door to his room and sat down with a piece of paper and a pen.Leroy began to write his letter to God.

LETTER 5:
I'VE GOT YOUR MOM. IF YOU WANT TO SEE HER AGAIN, SEND THE BIKE.
Signed
YOU KNOW WHO

:)

Cheers

Amusing English # 9 - Notices (Part 3/3)

Amusing English notices (contd...)

In a Swiss mountain inn
Special today - No Ice-Cream 

Airline ticket office, Copenhagen
We take your bags and send them in all directions 

In a Tokyo Hotel

Is forbidden to steal hotel towels please. If you are not a person to do such thing is please not to read notis.

In a Leipzig elevator

Do not enter the lift backwards, and only when lit up.

In a Belgrade hotel elevator

To move the cabin, push button for wishing floor. If the cabin should enter more persons, each one should press a number of wishing floor. Driving is then going alphabetically by national order.

In a Paris hotel elevator

Please leave your values at the front desk.

In a hotel in Athens

Visitors are expected to complain at the office between the hours of 9 and 11 A.M. daily.

In a Rhodes tailor shop

Order your summers suit. Because in big rush we will execute customers in strict rotation.

:-)

Cheers!

Birbal Stories # 22 - Birbal is Brief

One day Akbar asked his courtiers if they could tell him the difference between truth and falsehood in three words or less.

The courtiers looked at one another in bewilderment.

"What about you, Birbal?" asked the emperor. "I'm surprised that you too are silent."

"I'm silent because I want to give others a chance to speak," said Birbal.

"Nobody else has the answer," said the emperor. "So go ahead and tell me what the difference between truth and falsehood is — in three words or less."

"Four fingers" said Birbal

"Four fingers?" asked the emperor, perplexed.

"That's the difference between truth and falsehood, your Majesty," said Birbal. "That which you see with your own eyes is the truth. That which you have only heard about might not be true. More often than not, it's likely to be false."

"That is right," said Akbar. "But what did you mean by saying the difference is four fingers?'

"The distance between one's eyes and one's ears is the width of four fingers, Your Majesty," said Birbal, grinning. 

Cheers!

Aesop's tales # 29 - The Wolf and the Shepherd

A Wolf had been prowling around a flock of Sheep for a long time, and the Shepherd watched very anxiously to prevent him from carrying off a Lamb. But the Wolf did not try to do any harm. Instead he seemed to be helping the Shepherd take care of the Sheep. At last the Shepherd got so used to seeing the Wolf about that he forgot how wicked he could be.

One day he even went so far as to leave his flock in the Wolf's care while he went on an errand. But when he came back and saw how many of the flock had been killed and carried off, he knew how foolish to trust a Wolf as he exclaimed. “I have been rightly served; why did I trust my sheep to a Wolf?”

Moral: Delegate your task wisely, and only to people you trust.

Cheers!

Aesop's tales # 26 - The Fox and the Cat

A Fox was boasting to a Cat of its clever devices for escaping its enemies. "I have a whole bag of tricks," he said, "which contains a hundred ways of escaping my enemies."

"I have only one," said the Cat; "but I can generally manage with that." Just at that moment they heard the cry of a pack of hounds coming towards them, and the Cat immediately scampered up a tree and hid herself in the boughs. "This is my plan," said the Cat. "What are you going to do?" The Fox thought first of one way,

then of another, and while he was debating the hounds came nearer and nearer, and at last the Fox in his confusion was caught up by the hounds and soon killed by the huntsmen. Miss Puss, who had been looking on, said:

"Better one safe way than a hundred on which you cannot reckon."

Moral: One sure plan is better than a hundred options.

Cheers!

Aesop's tales # 25 - The Fox and the Crow

One bright morning as the Fox was following his sharp nose through the wood in search of a bite to eat, he saw a Crow on the limb of a tree overhead. This was by no means the first Crow the Fox had ever seen. What caught his attention this time and made him stop for a second look, was that the lucky Crow held a bit of cheese in her beak.

“No need to search any farther,” thought sly Master Fox. “Here is a dainty bite for my breakfast.”

Up he trotted to the foot of the tree in which the Crow was sitting, and looking up admiringly, he cried, “Good-morning, beautiful creature!”

The Crow, her head cocked on one side, watched the Fox suspiciously. But she kept her beak tightly closed on the cheese and did not return his greeting.

“What a charming creature she is!” said the Fox. “How her feathers shine! What a beautiful form and what splendid wings! Such a wonderful Bird should have a very lovely voice, since everything else about her is so perfect. Could she sing just one song, I know I should hail her Queen of Birds.”

Listening to these flattering words, the Crow forgot all her suspicion, and also her breakfast. She wanted very much to be called Queen of Birds.

So she opened her beak wide to utter her loudest caw, and down fell the cheese straight into the Fox's open mouth.

“Thank you,” said Master Fox sweetly, as he walked off. “Though it is cracked, you have a voice sure enough. But where are your wits?”

Moral: Do not trust flatterers. He who listens to flattery is not wise, for it has no good purpose.

Cheers!

Aesop's tales # 20 - The Miller, his son and their Ass

A Miller and his son were driving their Ass to a neighboring fair to sell him. They had not gone far when they met with a troop of women collected round a well, talking and laughing. "Look there,"cried one of them, "did you ever see such fellows, to be trudging along the road on foot when they might ride?” The old man hearing this, quickly made his son mount the Ass, and continued to walk along merrily by his side.

Presently they came up to a group of old men in earnest debate. “There," said one of them, "it proves what I was a-saying.What respect is shown to old age in these days? Do you see that idle lad riding while his old father has to walk? Get down, you young scapegrace, and let the old man rest his weary limbs." Upon this the old man made his son dismount, and got up himself.

In this manner they had not proceeded far when they met a company of women and children. "Why, you lazy old fellow,"  cried several tongues at once, "how can you ride upon the beast, while that poor little lad there can hardly keep pace by the side of you?” The good-natured Miller immediately took up his son behind him.

They had now almost reached the town. "Pray, honest friend," said a citizen, "is that Ass your own?” "Yes," replied the old man. "Oh, one would not have thought so," said the other, "by the way you load him. Why, you two fellows are better able to carry the poor beast than he you." "Anything to please you," said the old

man; "we can but try."

So, alighting with his son, they tied the legs of the Ass together and with the help of a pole endeavored to carry him on their shoulders over a bridge near the entrance to the town. This entertaining sight brought the people in crowds to laugh at it, till the Ass, not liking the noise nor the strange handling that he was subject to, broke the cords that bound him and, tumbling off the pole, fell into the river.

Upon this, the old man, vexed and ashamed, made the best of his way home again, convinced that by endeavoring to please everybody he had pleased nobody, and lost his Ass in the bargain.

Moral: Try to please all and you end up pleasing none.

Cheers!

Aesop's tales # 17 - The Monkey and the Dolphin

A Sailor, bound on a long voyage, took with him a Monkey to amuse him while on shipboard. As he sailed off the coast of Greece, a violent tempest arose in which the ship was wrecked and he, his Monkey, and all the crew were obliged to swim for their lives. 

A Dolphin saw the Monkey contending with the waves, and supposing him to be a man (whom he is always said to befriend), came and placed himself under him, to convey him on his back in safety to the shore. 

When the Dolphin arrived with his burden in sight of land not far from Athens, he asked the Monkey if he were an Athenian. The latter replied that he was, and that he was descended from one of the most noble families in that city. The Dolphin then inquired if he knew the Piraeus (the famous harbor of Athens). Supposing that a man was meant, the Monkey answered that he knew him very well and that he was an intimate friend. The Dolphin, indignant at these falsehoods, dipped the Monkey under the water and drowned him.

Moral: Those who pretend to be what they are not, sooner or later, find themselves in deep water.

Cheers!

Aesop's tales # 16 - The Bundle of Sticks

A certain Father had a family of Sons, who were forever quarreling among themselves. No words he could say did the least good, so he cast about in his mind for some very striking example that should make them see that discord would lead them to misfortune.

One day when the quarreling had been much more violent than usual and each of the Sons was moping in a surly manner, he asked one of them to bring him a bundle of sticks. Then handing the bundle to each of his Sons in turn he told them to try to break it. But although each one tried his best, none was able to do so.

The Father then untied the bundle and gave the sticks to his Sons to break one by one. This they did very easily.

“My Sons,” said the Father, “do you not see how certain it is that if you agree with each other and help each other, it will be impossible for your enemies to injure you? But if you are divided among yourselves, you will be no stronger than a single stick in that bundle.”

Moral: In Unity is Strength. Disunited families are easily injured by others.

Cheers!

Nilgiris Summer Festival 2011 - Programme highlights

Come May, with flowers in full bloom, it is celebration time in the Nilgiris. Ooty, the Queen of Hill Stations is all set to celebrate the summer festival in May 2011.

Here are the programme highlights:

1. Inauguration                              - 7 May @ Centenary Rose park, Ooty
2. Rose show                                - 7 and 8 May @ Centenary Rose park, Ooty
3. Vegetable show                         - 14 and 15 May @ Kotagiri
4. Annual flower carnival                - 20, 21 and 22 May @ Govt. Botanical Garden, Ooty
5. Spices show                               - 23 May @ Gudalur 
6. Annual fruit show                        - 28 and 29 May @ Sims park, Coonoor
7. Boat Race & Boat Pageant         - 17 and 18 May @ Ooty lake
8. Photo exhibition                          -  Between 14 and 23 May @ Horticulture Complex, Ooty
9. Dance, Drama & Music events    - Between 8 and 16 May @ Breeks open air stadium             

Cheers!