Love and Happiness

Some of my favourite quotes from Swami Chinmayananda’s writings, which truly reflect the vedantic interpretation of Love and Happiness.

• To love and to be loved is the greatest happiness
• Faults become thick when love is thin
• Remember, ‘Even this will pass away’.
• To be angry is to revenge the faults of others on ourselves
• The tragedy of human history is decreasing happiness in the midst of increasing comforts.
• Don’t put the key to your happiness in someone else’s pocket
• Silently hear everyone. Accept what is good. Reject and forget what is not. This is intelligent living.
• Be strict and intelligently critical about yourself and your own weakness and follies. But, cushion your words and attitudes with love. Love is the greatest persuasive power we know in life.
• We may often give without love, but we can never love without giving
• Flood your mind with love. Look into the eyes of the other and embrace the person with whom you have quarreled. Words are not necessary. Both will have their eyes flooded, and the joy of tears will wash away all quarrels.
• There is no companion like solitude. One who knows how to tune himself to the inner silence, even in the midst of the din and roar of the marketplace, enjoys a most recreative solitude.
• The glory of life is not in never falling. The true glory consists in rising each time we call
• History is full of instances, wherein, victory would have been to the vanquished. If only they had battled a little longer! We often fall for lack of perseverance in our efforts. We leave our work half done in our impatience. Every job demands its quota of efforts. Never give up too soon.

Cheers!

Why do we shout when we are angry?

I read this story somewhere and found it really made sense.  Here it goes:

 

A Hindu saint who was bathing in river Ganges saw a family on the bank, shouting at each other. The saint turned to his disciples with a gentle smile and asked, "Why do people shout when they are angry at each other?'.

The disciples thought for a while, and one of them said, ‘We shout because we lose our calm.’

"But, why shout when the other person is just next to you?’ asked the saint. ‘Isn’t it possible to speak to him or her softly? Why do you shout at a person when you’re angry?’

The disciples gave some  answers, but none satisfied the saint. Finally he explained, ‘When two people are angry at each other, their hearts are far apart and distant from each other, and in order to cover that distance, they must shout to be able to hear each other. The angrier they are, the louder they will have to shout to hear each other and cover that great distance.’

Then saint then asked, ‘What happens when two people are in love? They don’t shout at each other but talk gently and softly because their hearts are very close to one another. The distance between them is either imaginary, non-existent or very small.

He then continued, ‘When they love each other even more, what happens? They do not speak, only whisper and they get even closer to each other in their love. They need to only look at each other to understand what the other person has to say. That is how close two people are when they love each other.’

MORAL : When you argue do not let your hearts get distant, do not say words to add more fuel to the flame that distances each other further apart, else there may come a day when the distance is so great that you will not find the path to return.

Faith

A friend forwarded this story to me several years ago. It has such a great impact on me, till date.

Here's the story about Faith. 

There was this small village suffering from a severe drought. The crops were dying, and the villagers and their animals had very little water to drink. 

 

One day, to try to find a solution to the drought, the village priest called the villagers to gather at the village square to pray together for rain. He told them to bring along a token of their faith, so the prayer could be done in sincere faith.
 

And so the villagers gathered at the square bringing with them tokens of their faith. Some brought the Bible while others carried small crosses as tokens of faith. They all prayed aloud with great faith and hope.

Within a few moments it began to rain. The whole crowd was overjoyed and danced happily in the rain. The priest noticed that among the joyous crowd was a small girl, opening her umbrella. The girl had brought her umbrella as a token of faith. The priest admired this child who had brought an umbrella in total faith that the Lord would surely hear their prayers and send rain.

All came to pray for rain, but the little girl had come believing God will answer her prayers.

Cheers!

 

The Road Not Taken

This is my favourite poem by Robert Frost. The theme also happens to be my son's school motto. I happened to read this again yesterday, and thought I will share it here at a time when the children are expecting exam results, and planning for their future. It is wise to just not follow the herd, but take up something close to your heart and which you are passionate about.

Here is the poem.

          The Road Not Taken

Two roads diverged in a yellow wood,
And sorry I could not travel both
And be one traveler, long I stood
And looked down one as far as I could
To where it bent in the undergrowth;

Then took the tother, as just as fair,
And having perhaps the better claim,
Because it was grassy ans wanted wear;
Though as for that the passing there
Had worn them really about the same,

And both that morning equally lay
In leaves no step had trodden black.
Oh, I kept the first for another day!
Yet knowing how way leads on to way,
I doubted if I should ever come back.

I shall be telling this with a sigh
Somewhere ages and ages hence:
Two roads diverged in a wood, and I -
I took the one less traveled by
And that has made all the difference.
                               - Robert Frost


Cheers!

Breast Self-Examination (BSE)

While this post is essentially for women, I also request men reading this to pass on this information to your spouse and other women close to you in your family. Please remember that cancer treatment is not only agonizing for the patient, but creates great trauma for the entire family as well. Atleast, if we can detect the symptoms early enough, we can be assured of a better cure.

In our hectic schedules and different roles we women play today as wife, mother, employee, etc, we often tend to forget to take care of ourselves. When we also happen to read about a disease somewhere, we  ignore it, thinking it will not happen to us, and often do not pay attention unless we ourselves or someone close to us are the victims.

Why do a Breast Self Examination? 
 
Breast Cancer is one such thing growing at an alarming rate in India as well.  There are several reasons for breast cancer to occur, but I will not go into that. Doctors assure of a better cure of breast cancer when found out early, which is why regular, monthly self examination is important. 

Breast self examination has been universally accepted by the experts as a very simple  and effective method of early detection of Breast cancer. Breast self examination does not cost anything except 10 to 15 minutes of your time once a month. By doing monthly breast self examinations, a women can learn what her breasts normally look and feel like, and there is a better chance of catching changes early. 

When to do a Breast Self Examination?

• Breast Self Examination is to be done monthly.
• It is best to check about a week after your period, when breasts are not swollen or tender.
• If you are not mensurating, examine yourself on the same day every month. 
  

What are the warning signs of Breast cancer?

• Pain in your breast that seems unrelated to your period
• Lump or thickening (breast, underarm)
• Dimpling or puckering of the skin.
• Bloody or spontaneous discharge from nipple.
• A sore on the breast that does not heal.
• Unusual pain Itch or rash, especially in nipple area.
• Retracted nipple(s).

A quick note of caution is warranted here. Not all breast lumps may prove malignant. Therefore presence of a breast lump should not create panic at the outset. Nevertheless, if you feel a lump in your breast, talk to your doctor to find out the cause.

How to do Breast Self-Examination? 

Please visit the following links on how to do Breast Self-Examination.

http://www.breastcancer.org/symptoms/testing/types/self_exam/bse_steps.jsp

http://www.acog.org/publications/patient_education/bp145.cfm

Here is an animation representation on Breast-Self Examination

http://www.medindia.net/animation/breast_self_examination.asp

By sharing this information, my hope is to increase awareness about the importance of monthly breast self examination. 

It is also to be noted that Ultrasound plus Mammography screening annually are significantly more efficient than Mammography alone in detecting early-stage breast cancer. 

Cheers!

 

Are Birthday parties really needed?

This is purely my personal opinion. I have always hated to waste food, and I somehow cannot tolerate food being wasted in parties, weddings, etc.

I feel all this is just an ugly display of one's ego and wealth.

I have lived in big apartment complexes (still do) where almost everyday, there is one birthday celebration or the other. The kids and the parents start preparing atleast a week in advance - inviting friends, neighbours, organizing games, selecting the huge cake, choosing gifts for the other children attending the party, and ofcourse, buying lots and lots of food and drink. As always, children don't eat all the food that is served, and most of it is thrown into the garbage.

When millions in our country go without even one square meal a day, it is painful to see food being thrown away.

Well, we do need to celebrate birthdays and other occasions, and it is indeed very special when it comes to our own children. But, in residential complexes when people of different lifestyle and status reside, these celebrations I think are becoming more of a status symbol, and an occasion to display how much money you can spend.

All children do love being pampered, and receiving gifts, and really look forward to the food, dance and music at birthdays. My son was no exception either. One day a few years ago, I sat down with him and explained why such parties are a waste of money and the plans that I have made to make his day really memorable and enjoyable. He agreed reluctantly!

On his next birthday, I took him to a home for street children. There were about a 100 children in the home in different age groups, and as I had informed them earlier that I would like to celebrate my son's birthday with them, the children were all sitting at their tables eagerly waiting for the sweets that I had brought for them.

Some of the little kids surrounded our car, and eagerly helped my son step down!.

My son was dressed up in brand new clothes as it was his birthday, and it was for the first time I think he saw children of his own age dressed in torn attire. He was the VIP that day!. When he went around the tables distributing the sweets, each of the little children stood up to greet my son, and shook hands with him. We spent about 2 hours at the home. The children also entertained my son with some music and dance.

My little boy only then realized how privileged he was. He had so many things that the other children did not have. He was very quiet on the way back home, and then later that night, he expressed a desire to visit the home again sometime. He also asked me if I could give away some his old clothes to the kids which I actually did!

On his subsequent birthday, I took him to a home for mentally challenged children. He had never seen such children all his life, and could not forget the experience for several weeks thereafter. He would keep on talking about the children there. I  have been continuing this practice till date.

Teach your children to give. There is so much pleasure when you can make someone else happy. Try it once, and tell me if I am wrong.

Allow your children to participate in some kind of community service in school. It givens them an opportunity to know how lucky they are in this world. It also gives them an opportunity to know that there are less privileged children around them who are deprived of even basic necessities in life. It also allows them to know that there are bigger joys in life than computers, video games and play stations!

As I said in the beginning, this is my personal opinion only. We are living at a time when we are spoiling our kids with expensive clothes, gadgets, and what not. Let them also know that all this is not permanent in life, and teach them to thank God everyday for what they have got now.

Cheers!

How to be an Indispensable Executive Assistant

As an Executive Assistant for over a decade, I have held this position in various designations and capacities. I could actually write a book on my experience! Here are some tips for growing Executive Assistants/ Executive Secretaries, to enable you to become indispensable in your company.

Role of an Executive Assistant

Executive Assistants are established professionals with proven managerial and operational skills. The role is for people with very good communication skills, advanced proficiency in computers, and the ability to grasp new technologies. They usually work with CEOs and other senior executives. 

Because of their dependability, accountability and proximity to the CEO/Senior Executive, Executive Assistants are considered key players in the organization. The role requires someone who can work independently, be very discrete and tactful dealing with people, has excellent communication skills to operate on his/her behalf and make informed decisions in a tough situation.

Key attributes

• Three fundamental requirements of the Executive Assistant role is the ability to prioritize, remain calm under pressure and remain focused.
• Executive Assistants have to cope with an ever changing set of priorities, so flexibility and adaptability are essential attributes. Each day can differ from the previous one and bring new tasks and challenges. 
  
• Be smart, sharp, confident and reliable
• Hear every thing that is said; extract relevant information; organize that information efficiently, and take appropriate action.
• The more organized and well-prepared you are, the more efficient your time with the CEO/Executive will be spent.
• Try to master Outlook, Excel, Word and PowerPoint
• Express a desire to learn. This is a huge plus and your boss will notice!
• The most important attribute is building trust which must be sincere and routed in integrity.
• Once the trust is lost, it becomes very difficult to function in the CEO and Executive Assistant relationship.
• Focus on learning to “read” your bosses. What kind of pace do they like. What do they need from you. What’s their response time like. What is their behavior under stress. 
• People skills, discretion and a being able to be on top of things all the time are actually very high on the list of must have qualifications.

 Execution 

• Use Outlook extensively. You will never lose track of assignments to be completed or follow-ups to be done.
• Prioritize, delegate and fulfill commitments
• Time management is crucial
• Communication is key
• When your boss gives you instructions, do not count on your brain to remember these things for you. Bring a notebook and write down whatever they tell you to do.
• They might rattle of a ton of things at once. Always keep a steno pad for this purpose.
• Another learning curve may be corporate office email etiquette. Pay close attention to how other people type, the sort of language they use and how they word things.
• Be proactive and follow-up
• The easiest way to impress a boss I think is to anticipate
• If you make a mistake, which you will, own up, apologize and tell them what you have done to fix it. This gets you far more respect than trying to hide it and getting caught later.
• Use your judgment and take decisions. It comes with experience.
• Always arrive a little early to prepare for the day, and do not start shutting down 30 minutes before office closing hours
• Don’t wait until the last minute to get work done. Get an early start on tasks. Your boss will appreciate it.
• Keep a to-do list. Take notes when given instructions
• Be proactive and try to anticipate the needs of your bosses for future projects (or) tasks
• Keep a can do, upbeat attitude
• Never fall into the “its not my job” attitude
• Write down everything, summarize and follow-up!
• Your work is not going to change, and you still have those 100 things to do. But, if you focus on one thing at a time, you’ll be done quicker, and your work will be more accurate.
• When you have got a big project (or) a complex task, it is best to ignore other distractions. Don’t try to answer every mail the second it comes in. Let the phone go to voice mail. Although you may not believe it, your company will not go bankrupt if you are unavailable for an hour!!
• Be loyal and go the extra mile. It will make you INDISPENSABLE.    

Personality

• Start each day with a smile, and a good morning!
• Maintain professionalism, and treat everyone with respect
• Be careful about gossip. Do not participate in it whatsoever
• Be professional and friendly with everyone! The person who empties your garbage tin, the receptionist, your boss’s boss, because you never know what resources you will need to tap.
• Respect all employees. When things go wrong, as they always do, it is important to have reliable friends in every department.
• Remember that the Finance people are super important, and you need them on your side
• Do not date anyone in the company
• Do not play office politics under any circumstances. Do not talk about people. Smile and listen; listen and smile.
• And finally, no romance with the boss. It simply does not work! Keep your relationship very professional to establish yourself in your career.

I hope these tips were useful.

Cheers

Live your life - do not take it for granted

Dad would tell me all the time – be sure to save 40% of what you earn. He would say that was enough, because to make a decent living, you need to spend the remaining 60% for various needs. 

The magnificent change in recent years is the easy availability of loans for cars, houses, household appliances, etc. Unfortunately, many young couples fall into the prey of luxurious living when they have lot of money in their hands.

When you are between 25 and 30 yrs old, and you have two earning members in the family,  it is a natural tendency to plan ahead for the future. 

But, remember, things can go wrong anytime – you may have trouble with your current job, sometimes you may have difficulty getting another assignment inspite of your qualifications and experience (it happens when you are passing through a bad phase). You may have to take care of your parents, siblings, children’s education, etc.

  

There are people  who pride themselves on living on hand to mouth, after taking enormous loans. Is all this worth it? I simply do not understand this. Don’t we all earn to live life to the full?

Live for yourself, and not for someone else. If you have too many financial obligations, you may be forced to be put up with many things in life, unwillingly.   

What is the point if you have a huge bungalow, but cannot sleep inside it in peace. Imagine having to spend the next 20 years repaying loans, and you being unable to manage if something untoward would happen. I know a couple in the IT industry who were earning substantially well. They went into loans right from a farm house to the huge plasma TV in their living room. A day came when the woman could not continue work for health reasons, but they needed the extra income to repay the loan. They were desperate, and finally had to sell off most of the things they bought through loans.

What I am trying to say is this. We must definitely plan for the future – but invest sensibly. When you envision your dream, do also think what you will do if something goes wrong in your plan. In the stressful lives we lead now,  let us learn to live and enjoy each day. When you are in control of your financial situation, it gives you more confidence and you will also have the liberty to make changes in your career and life when you can. There are many people who opt out of their professions in the middle of their career to take up a dream project, or even social service. When this happens, you will be able to pursue your dream without any hesitation or guilt.

Never take life for granted. There is a saying in Tamil - நோயற்ற வாழ்வே குறைவற்ற செல்வம். This means that to live healthy is the best asset you can possess. In today's world, with so many new diseases cropping up because of our lifestyle, it is truly a miracle if we are in good health today.

You are blessed if you have a plum job now. So, try to live life to the full when you can.


Cheers!