Amusing English # 6 - Matrimonial Ads

I bet you can't stop laughing after reading this. These are actual ads on a matrimony site. (I'm skipping the name...) Grammar and spelling errors have no place in a profile description as everything is straight from the heart .  

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Hello To Viewers My Name is Sowmya , I am single i dont have male,I f any one whant to marrie to me u can visite to my home. I am not a good education but i working all field in bangalore .. if u like me u welcome to my heart... when ever u whant to meet pls visit my resident or send u letter..
Thanks
yours Regards Sowmya
(Truly yours)

 
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i want very simple boy. from brahmin educated family from Orissa state she is also know about RAMAYAN, GEETA BHAGABATA, and other homework

What Homework???
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I am a happy-go-lucky kind of person. Enjoys every moments of life. I love to make friendship. Becauese friendship is a first step of love. I am looking for my dreamboy who will love me more than i. Because i love myself a lot. If u think that is u then why to late come on........hold my hand forever !!!

(The dilwale dulhaniya effect)
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i am simple girl. I have lot of problem in my life because of my luck. now i am looking one boy he care me and love me lot lot lot

(Lot lot...??)
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i want a boy with no drinks if he wants he can wear jeans in house but while steping out of house he should give recpect to our cast

(by not wearing his jeans? What the hell...)
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HYE I AM A GOOD LOKING GIRL,WHO HAS THE CAPABILITY TO MAKE ANY BODY TO
LOUGH.I BELIEVE IN GOD AND ACCORDING TO ME FRIENDS ARE THE REAL
MESSENGER OF GOD. THE 3 THINGS I AM LOOKING FROM A BOY
THEY ARE
1. THEY MUST BELIEVE IN GOD.
2. THEY HAVE TO LIKE MY PROFFESION
3. THEY SHOULD NOT GET BORED WITH ME WHEN I WILL TRY TO MAKE THEM LOUGH.

(all of us are loughing {laughing})
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whatever he may be but he should feel that he is going to be someone groom and he must think of the future life if he is toolike this he would be called the man of the lamp

(She want's a lamp...?)

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i love my patner i marriage the patner ok i search my patner and I love the patner ok thik hai the patner has a graduate ok

(The person seems to be suffering from 'Ok-syndrome' )
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iam pranati my family histoy my two brother two sister and father & Mother. sister completely married

(somebody please explain how to get married completely'? )
 
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my name is farhanbegum and i am unmarried. pleaes you marrige me pleaes pleaes pleaes pleaes pleaes pleaes pleaes

(Height of desperation! )
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iam kanandevi. i do own businas.one sistar. he was marred.

(No comments)
 
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I am Sharmila my colour is black, but my heart is white. i like social service.

(Zebra..???)
 
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Wants a woman who knows me better and can adjust with me forever. she may never create any difficulties in my life or her life by which the entire life can run smoothly. thank you

(The principle of running life smoothly was never so easy!)

 
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she should be good looking and should have a service. she Should have one brother and one sister. she should be educated.

(ain't it unique !! 1 brother 1 sister criteria !)
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iam very simpel and hanest. i have three sister one brother and parent. iam doing postal sarvice and tailor master my original resdence at kalahandi diste naw iam staing at rayagada dist.

(actually what is this guy doing? Postal service or tailor.??)

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Iwant one girl who love me or my mother. she love me heartly or she havea frank she's skin colour 'normal'not a black or not a whitey. IThink the main think is heart if your heart is beautiful then you are beautiful. but iam not a handsome guy or not a good looking. but my Mom say that
Iam a good guy. My father already expired . THE CHOICE IS YOUR. bye bye.

(uttama purushan)

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i'm looking out for who lives in bombay , girl simple who trust me lot
should be roman catholic, LOVE ME ONLY.

(Now that criterion is a must, isn't it?)

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to be married on jan-2006. working woman perferable

(this guy has fixed the marriage date too! )

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i would like a beautyfull girl. and i do not want her any treasure. because girl is the maharani.

(Now she is going to be a lucky girl! Any takers?)

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 :-)

Cheers!