Give 100% in your Relationships

One of the most common relationship dynamics that exists is two people who feel emotionally wounded by each other. They both love each other, and enjoy being together, and yet they keep hurting each other.

Yes, we all love, and we hurt the people we love the most. Why do we do it?  Maybe because we take those closest to us for granted. Maybe they do not meet our expectations in some way, and we end up being disappointed. So, we do or say something in return to hurt them. Also, most of the time it is unintentional. We later regret and try to patch up things.

We need to respect the fact that in an intimate committed relationship, we have access to the most personal and vulnerable aspects of each others lives. We need to treat that as a sacred privilege and with utmost respect. Never ever abuse that gift. We need to learn to express feelings in ways that brings us closer, not in ways that creates more distance and hurt.

So, give 100% in your relationships. If you don't give your hundred percent in a relationship, you'll always keep doubting if the other person has given his/her hundred percent.. Continue to love, even if it hurts. It is worth anyway.

I like this poem by Ella Wheeler Wilcox on the same subject. Here it goes.

           Life's Scars

They say the world is round, and yet

I often think it square,

So many little hurts we get

From corners here and there,

But one great truth in life I've found,

While journeying to the West-

The only folks who really wound

Are those we love the best.

The man you thoroughly despise

Can rouse your wrath, 'tis true;

Annoyance in your heart will rise

At things mere strangers do;

But those are only passing ills;

This rule all lives will prove;

The rankling wound which aches and thrills

Is dealt by hands we love.

The choicest garb, the sweetest grace,

Are oft to strangers shown;

The careless mien, the frowning face,

Are given to our own.

We flatter those we scarcely know,

We please the fleeting guest,

And deal full many a thoughtless blow

To those who love us best.

Love does not grow on every tree,

Nor true hearts yearly bloom.

Alas for those who only see

This cut across a tomb!

But, soon or late, the fact grows plain

To all through sorrow's test;

The only folks who give us pain

Are those we love the best.

          - Ella Wheeler Wilcox

Cheers!